A few years back, I found myself at one of The Veterans Ranch 3-day weekend equine therapy clinics. I had carried the invisible weight of combat for longer than I care to admit, and honestly, I was skeptical about how much a horse could really help. Little did I know, those three days would change my life forever.
On the first day, I met J.R. and all of the other Veterans that were there for the weekend. I got all checked in to the Cowboy Cabin that a lot of us were staying in and then they handed me a small notebook to write down phone numbers, and also something I needed to let go of and that’s all they told me. I though that was interesting, I could just put them in my phone. However, they explained to me that when you write with intention it sticks better in your brain than just putting it in your phone and hit save and forget about it.
Later we sat around a campfire while J.R. and the other people running the weekend made burgers and dogs and even had a smoked pork butt (love me some good BBQ). We all just chatted it up for the night not really knowing what was in store the next day.
Around 04:30 the next morning I smelled coffee, eggs, bacon, and biscuits and gravy. J.R. told us the night before that you eat hearty at these events. We all trying to wake up stuffed our faces and then it was time for some of us to go to the horses and then the other half of us went fishing and could speak with some counselors if we wanted to. The great thing that I noticed right off the bat is that they didn’t push you to do anything. They just told you that the more you put in it, the more you will get out of it. I was in the first group that went to the horses. I had a nervous anticipation as I had been around a couple horses when I was a kid, but nothing on a regular basis.
They had some people bring some very gentle horses up for us to work with and they were absolutely beautiful. That being said, I was still nervous. I didn’t expect to feel an immediate connection and the horse I was working with must have known it because I was in the middle of this round pen and she wouldn’t come to me no matter how hard I “tried” to relax. J.R. and the really nice lady that owned the property told me to be like “yoda”, “you can’t try, only do.” Everyone in that group really supported me even when I wanted to give up and quit, they wouldn’t let me. I found out later that there were even a couple of fellow vets that said they would take there turn later so I could do what I needed to do (whatever that was lol). To fast forward the story, I finally “gave myself to the horse” as J.R. says and she came to me and with direction we were walking shoulder to shoulder around this round pen.
Now, I forgot to mention that this horse did not have on a halter or be able to pull her around with a lead rope. I just had to trust her and she had to trust me. There’s a saying that horses can sense your true emotions, and mine knew my struggles before I even admitted them to myself. She walked with me, accepting me as I was – broken pieces and all. I even turned around to see if she would follow me and SHE DID! It was absolutely amazing. They guided me back to the center of the arena and now I truly understood what it meant to give myself to the horse. What felt like an eternity was probably just a few minutes, and this beautiful white mare came up and put her nose right in my chest and I just fell to pieces. It was like she was saying, “its going to be okay”. That was my time in the round pen and I have never forgotten it.
Later that night as always, we ate well and then we were sitting around the campfire. Some folks went and did their own thing and all that was left was myself and another Veteran and J.R. (who by the way, is an awesome patriot even though he never wore the uniform). We all started talking and things got more serious. He shared that if we wrote in our book what we needed to let go of that we one at a time needed to stand up, tear that page out and we could say what was on it if we wanted to and then throw it into the fire. He said when the page burns, the words are gone and you need to let it go. Now, I know that it is the first step in a thousand mile journey, but I knew what he meant. I had no plans on saying what was on my page when I stood up, but I felt compelled too and then I threw it into the fire. Which made the Veteran next to me do the same thing and then J.R. did as well. There were lots of “man hugs” going on between the three of us and lots of, “I’m not crying, you’re crying. Must be from the smoke from the fire.” We all had some great laughs and wore out every speaker and cell phone battery singing every country music song we could (on key or no lol).
Over the course of that weekend, I learned more than I ever could’ve imagined. It guided me to unpack the heavy baggage I’d been unknowingly collecting for years. Through simple yet profoundly impactful exercises, I began to rediscover parts of myself I thought were lost forever.
Unfortunately, on the last day, we got severely rained out and couldn’t do anything outside. J.R. was up early again, making sure everyone was WELL fed and caffeinated and was making sure that everyone had some extra food left over to take home.
Since the weekend with The Veterans Ranch, I’ve found new purpose and strength in my civilian life, and I’m able to connect with my family in a way I hadn’t before. This place, these horses, and the incredible team were the catalysts for a new beginning in my life. I held back on writing this testimonial, not because I wasn’t grateful, but because there are just not enough words to express the transformation I experienced.
To anyone out there doubting or struggling, take it from a fellow vet who’s been there: do this for yourself. You’ll be amazed by what you might discover.
Thank you, Veterans Ranch, for offering hope when I needed it most. You’re doing God’s work, and I’m forever grateful.
If you are able to, please go to their website www.theveteransranch.org/donate and give $22 a month so that other Veterans like me continue to have the chance to have these amazing experiences.
Sincerely,
(Names kept private for privacy)
#GratefulVeteran #LifeChangingTherapy #NewBeginnings #VeteransRanch